The Randomness of Partial Insanity
by Partial Insanity
Summary: A series of short stories in which I place myself and my younger brother in various scenes and situations from various Anime.
1. The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

**Disclaimer:** _These are just separate short stories, I don't own anything in this at all._**  
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**Chapter One: **_Of cameras and knives_

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The door to the computer club room busted open, causing me, my younger brother, and the other club members to start in surprise. There, standing with a wide grin on her face, was Haruhi Suzumiya.

"Hi everyone! I've come for a computer and all the accessories that go with it!" she shouted in obvious glee. I slowly turned back to my own computer, a beautifully costumed one, with the fastest internet connection and most memory, with the monitor shaped like Godzilla's head, and tried not thinking about what would happen next.

After exchanging a few words, and making a scene, Haruhi began looking for the best model, when suddenly her eyes fell on mine. I slowly turned and gave her the look of Death, and grabbed my computer.

"Touch it and DIE!" I hissed, but that didn't stop her. she began walking over to me, and I heard my younger brother whisper "Uh-oh, here comes trouble." as he slowly inched towards the door.

Haruhi stood in front of me, and simply smiled and pointed at her camera. I took one look at the thing, and bit it in half, and started chewing at the half in my mouth.

This seemed pretty effective, as Haruhi, as well as everyone other than my brother, stared at me, jaws agape, as I swallowed, took the rest of the camera from her hands, and proceeded to eat it.

Unfortunately, this caused Haruhi to "recruit' me into the SOS Brigade, and I did, on one condition: I kept my computer to myself.

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Later that week, Kyon received a letter in his shoe locker, asking him to meet the person in the classroom. Curious, I tagged along for fun.

When we arrived there, we found Ryoko Asakura waiting, though it seemed she wasn't expecting me. After some awkward conversation concerning change, she lunged at us with a knife, and stabbed me in the chest.

Or she tried to anyway. The blade bent upwards, leaving me unharmed. We both just stared at the knife for a minute, before she slowly withdrew it from my chest, and the blade returned to normal.

I reached out with one finger, bent the knife downwards by the tip, and let go, making it wobble and squeak like it was made out of rubber.

"Well now, this wasn't supposed to happen." Asakura said awkwardly, before I punched her, then gave her to Yuki.

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**Author's Notes:** _These little short stories will range from Humor to Tragedy, if I feel like writing the latter, and are based off of conversations my younger brother and I have had while watching various Anime and discussing scenes. This one was the first we ever had, and therefore is the first. They will continue as long as we both continue to put ourselves in scenes. Enjoy!_


	2. Black Lagoon

**Chapter Two: **_Sleight of hand._

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I felt myself fly through the air, and slam on the car behind me. It hurt pretty badly, but that was the last of my worries. I found myself looking down the barrel of a pistol, and looking up into the eyes of Balalaika.

She started to talk, but I wasn't paying any attention. Instead I was focused on her right eye. it was glowing blue. How did it do that? was it the burn mark on that side of her face, or could she make it do that on purpose?

Dimly I heard Revy saying something to her, and Rock's nervous breathing, but I didn't pay them heed. How in the world did her eye do that? I want mine to do that too! Maybe it happened whenever she was trying to scare someone.

She must have noticed my lack of attention, because I was rudely shaken, and the gun inched closer to my face. I finally gave up on solving the mystery of her eye, and look at her as a whole.

"Yes, you were saying something?" I asked somewhat cheekily, which rewarded me with quite the evil look. I sighed and shook my head, as best I could, and motioned for her to go on.

"There are two things to remember when you're begging for your life. One is trying to entertain the person holding the gun to your head. and the other is to give that person...a convincing reason why they shouldn't kill you."

My God, that smile was just evil. How _does _she do that? I looked at her, and thought for a moment.

"A reason why not to kill me eh? Hmmm...Well, would these work?" I said as I held my hands up in front of her, to show her two gun clips of different sizes. Her eyes very slowly widened, and she did a small glance at her gun, which was missing it's clip.

At that moment I'm pretty sure my face resembled hers just minutes ago. "I think you and Boris are going to have a difficult time firing your guns without these."

She slowly let go of my jacket, which was all crumpled up now, and regarded me in what looked like amazement, or shock, with her it was hard to tell.

"When did you-?" she started to ask, and I held up my hand to silence her, then tossed her both clips.

"Sleight of hand." I replied with what I thought was an evil smirk, but I could have just looked stupid. Later, I was hired to be one of her bodyguards, which was cool.

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**Omake: **I regarded the pistol in front of me, then Balalaika 's face. After thinking for a moment, I reached forward and took a big bite out of her gun, and began to chew while she, Boris, Rock and Revy just stared at me.


End file.
